The Countdown Begins

We went to the doctor on Thursday for Caryn's weekly check-up. The doctor listened and poked and announced, "congratulations, you are full term." I already knew that but hearing the doctor tell us made me a little uneasy. Basically, labor can start at any time; while Caryn is sleeping, while enjoying a delicious Arby's sandwich, during 4th period math in front of 15 tenth graders. Who knows? It's the anticipation that's killing me. Every time Caryn calls me, my heart skips a beat. Women at this stage get "braxton hicks contractions" which are like warm up contractions for the real thing. Her stomach gets rock hard for about a minute. The great thing is that there doesn't seem to be any pain involved...yet. People have started guessing what day Fee will ride the slip and slide into our life. There's no pool of money but you'd always have the claim that you "knew" when he'd arrive. Just a reminder, the actual due date is January 12th. Happy New Year!

Lub Dub

I know what you're thinking. "Three posts in one day? Space it out!" Listen, it's freezing rain and snowing outside plus there's a lot of exciting stuff going on. I've had a really nice stethoscope for a few years without really knowing why. Now I know. We can hear Fee! It's faint, but Caryn and I both heard Fee's rapid heartbeat this morning without the use of the OB's fancy machine. (side note: the first time the doctor used one of his heartbeat machines on Caryn, he looked up and said "I think we lost this one." The moron meant that the batteries were dead but Caryn immediately translated it into "we lost the baby." Before her eyes got too watery, he realized his error and explained himself but, come on, what type of a**hole thing is that to say.) I digress. Anyway, hearing Fee's heartbeat in our own house without any doctors around was really cool.
With less than a month left, I am realizing more and more that this baby is coming. People keep asking me if I'm ready. How the hell do I know? I'm excited and nervous. I can't wait to meet the little guy and have him wrap his tiny fingers around my hand. I can't wait to just look at him while he's sleeping. There's so much I'm looking forward to. Am I ready? Of course not. You can't always be ready in life. Sometimes, you just have to dive him head first. In Fee's case, he's diving "out" head first...hopefully. There is a time and place for a cannonball. This would not be one of those times son.

Sassafrass

Check out sassy Caryn! (she is being escorted by Reese, the Duchess of Sass) Caryn is 36.5 weeks pregnant in this picture. Forget weeks, she looks good for 36.5 DAYS pregnant! If Sassland were a country, she'd be the president. Her primary export is Sass. When Caryn walks past, you become sassified. Caryn's tears have enough Sass to make Beyonce say, "that's a lot of sass." If Reese had this much sass, she would explode. Keep it sassy.

What's Up Martha Stewart

Check out the nursery! Admit it, you wish you could throw on a diaper, climb into the crib, and drift off into a bubble filled slumber. The wall looks so nice you hardly even notice the chair rail!

Except for one missing element, my vision for the nursery is complete. That element? A baby.

Fruit Of Labor

Today is December 12th and Fee is due on January 12th. Just like that, we are one month away from diaper bags and sleep deprivation. At this stage, Fee is a little larger than a cantaloupe and just as juicy. Unfortunately in a month, his "juice" transforms into stinky poo. Come to think of it, the same thing happens to a cantaloupe after a month. I guess the biggest difference is that Fee will never get served during brunch.
This also means I only have a month left to call him Fee. He will no longer be a Fetus but a living breathing poo-machine...and that machine needs a name. WE think we have it narrowed down to 2 front-runners and 4 more maybes. I think Caryn has actually decided on the name but hasn't told me. So, for now, WE'RE not sure. The illusion that I have a choice is what keeps me happy. Reality can really get you frustrated...much like a rotten cantaloupe.

Just Practicing

I am a multitasking machine! Here I am enjoying a beer, watching football, giving the cat attention, and taking care of the baby. For now, the baby is Edgar the stuffed rabbit. I put the stroller together while carrying baby Edgar as well. It was easy. Feeling confident I'd mastered fatherhood, I decided my experiment was complete. Plus, after assembling the stroller, I stood up and watched Edgar fall out of the Baby Bjorn and onto the sharp open pair of scissors on the floor. Hot water burn baby! Hot water burn baby!

A Simple Thanks

No jokes, sarcasm, or wit. I just really wanted to say over and over again how grateful Caryn and I are for everyones gifts to Fee. We've got an entire zoo of stuffed animals, car seat, stroller, playpen, high chair, and a wardrobe Paris Hilton would be jealous of (ok, 1 joke). I can't begin to thank everyone enough. We love you all, even the people who stumbled on this blog by accident (2). We're only 6 weeks away!!!