The Nebulizer

(lyrics sung to the tune of "Paralyzer" by Finger Eleven)
I'm the Nebulizer
I have to suck on this tube
Breathe in albuterol
While I'm sitting still.
'Cause my infection filled
All my lungs with goo
I have to breathe this gas
But get to watch TV to!

Two Steps

It's not just the name of a Dave Matthews Band song anymore, it's what Bennet just did half an hour ago!!! He is 11 months and 2 days old. He was leaning on me with one hand and eating a piece of string cheese with the other. He decided he needed both hands to shove the last bit of cheese in his mouth so he let go of me, stood upright for about 10 seconds, then just looked at Caryn and I and took 2 steps before sitting down on his butt. He didn't seem to understand why we were so excited but did manage to clap his hands and smile. Plus, since Caryn and I were both right there, it is an official "first walk." Coincidentally, the video camera wasn't charged and the regular camera didn't have a memory stick in it (the pic is from a few weeks ago). I can't wait for Ben to take 15 steps because that's the title of a Radiohead song (the greatest band ever). It's been a helluva year! Merry (early) Christmas.

Pensive Bennet

To the company who made this sweater, I want royalties when you use this picture in your ads.

Starting at Short Stop Today...

We have a circular coffee table in our TV room. Ben and I spent 10 minutes rolling a ball back and forth to each other yesterday. It was really amazing to see him think about grabbing the ball as it rolled towards him. (even more amazing is the fact that the table was cleared of the usual junk mail and other cluttery crap) Plus, the look on his face when he actually caught the ball was really cute (of course when I got up to get the camera, he felt the game was over and went back to trying to lick the cats tail). Anyway, you can imagine how proud I am now that my son has shown the smallest amount of athletic skill. I can hear the argument now..."Yes you have to go to baseball practice. No you can't take ballet lessons. Stop crying." :)

Happy Autumn

My Kryptonite

The kid loves bananas. What baby doesn't? I however hate bananas. It's not just the flavor. The simple sight of someone else eating a banana actually makes me a little nauseous. It was difficult for me just to take these pictures. As Bennet is learning to look at our reaction to a situation, I know it will be important not to let my disgust turn him off of natures most nutritious and arguably most phallic fruit. Nevertheless, the fear that keeps me up at night is the inevitable day when Ben tries to get me to share his banana with him ...must ...not ...vomit ...on ....sons ...face ....arghhhh.

Unclean!

As the weather turns colder, I'm noticing how dry and cracked my hands are getting. After dirty diapers, gas station pumps, and general daily activity, I wash my hands so often they're like sand paper. However, this doesn't bother me quite as much as the obvious question: How often did I wash my hands BEFORE Ben was born?...

Lil' Stinker

Ben's numerous nicknames always seem to have "stink" in them (Stink-Eye, Stinky Pants), so it was only fitting that he was a skunk for Halloween! Notice the resemblance between Ben and the pumpkin? Two bottom teeth and a cute button nose.

There Will Be Blood

Here's our little bruiser with his first black eye. I know what you're thinking; "Daddy is teaching Bennet how to listen..." Before anyone calls the authorities, he did it to himself. Evidently a framed picture of himself was so overwhelmingly cute that he tried to physically imprint it on his face. He did handle it well, although we adults still feel a little guilty.

Wish We Had A Dog

Here's Bennet covering himself in spaghetti. He was really pissed we were giving him something that hadn't been through a blender...until some got in his mouth. He then got real excited, shoved a handful in his mouth, and threw the rest on the floor. Somewhere there is a golden retriever puppy looking for a floor to lick clean...

My Two Uncles

Insert gay joke here...
-thanks guest author (soon to be competitive blogger) R.C.B.

Hit Me Beatty One More Time

Look who came to visit all the way from Australia! See that glass in the lower right corner of the pic? Mr. "I don't spill anymore" did just that moments after this shot was taken. To be fair, Ben's arm technically knocked over the glass. It's comforting to know after all these years, some things never change.

9 Months

Nine months of pregnancy...check
Nine months of having a baby...check
Stories of vomit, poop, sleepless nights...check

I know it's cliche to say but I can't believe it's been 9 months already. (I also realize saying it's cliche is itself cliche). I haven't been good about posting because I really just don't have a lot of time to do it. This kid thing is really putting a damper on my free time. Let me fill you in. Ben can pull himself up on furniture and walk around. He still only has 2 teeth. He can wave goodbye (although not always at the appropriate time). We're waiting any day now for him to just let go of the furniture, take a moment to balance, and run out the front door (hopefully he'll be nude just to make the story that much better). I keep telling myself to be better about posting...although it's mostly for the ego stroke of people telling me I'm funny....we all have our motives. Coming soon....Halloween pics...

Pumpkin Picking With Our Pumpkin

These pumpkins are actually normal sized, Ben is just freakishly large.

Enough Said

Little Chomper

Ben has a tooth! I just happened to notice it while he was smiling...this little whitish spot on the top of his bottom gum. There's not much sticking out so a pic of it will come later. For now, here's a random shot.

What Do Ben And Ned Flanders Have In Common?

To the untrained eye, this picture is just Ben in a high chair. Look closer, there are a few important things going on here. First, Ben has learned to pick up little pieces of cereal and put them in his mouth. I know what your thinking...I've seen chimpanzees do that with their own poop, big deal. Well, it is a big deal, it's a major developmental step. Ok, here's the real reason I'm excited. He's doing it with his left hand!!! I was fine with a boy or girl. When he's older, he can be straight or gay. He might like running better than swimming. But I'll be damned if my firstborn son is a righty! I already want to go out and buy him a pair of "special" scissors.

Coffee Break

Ben needed a little rest while eating breakfast the other morning. I guess the Starbucks wasn't strong enough for him.

I Bet You Think This Song Is About You

Hey, who's that?
How you doing? I'm Ben.
Oooh Baby, you're a good kisser.
My son (the one doing calculus in the previous picture) spent 5 minutes making out with his reflection on the side of our trash can. Vanity is my favorite sin

...Carry The Four...

He got really pissed when Caryn tried to take the calculator away. He may look like Caryn, but I finally have evidence that he is also my son. Don't forget to distribute the 5 Ben.

Nostalgia

I was looking back at old pictures of Ben's first day. This will sound cliche but I really don't remember him being this little...especially when I'm holding a squirmy 20 pound not-so-little boy. In 6 months, he's almost tripled his weight! He's like a weed...and much like a weed showing up in your garden, he has a tendency to show up in places where you don't want him to be (trying to crawl inside your printer or licking your flip flop).

Time Flies

Today is Bennet James's 6 month birthday. It sounds incredibly cliche but they do grow up so fast. (Bennet has an interview with Intel tomorrow. Maybe he can start earning his keep.) I've had a great time writing this blog both when Ben was still Fee and since his birth. Bennet is so active now I don't have time to think about life, I'm just living it. Before he was born, Caryn and I spent a lot of time wondering what a baby would be like. Then, during the first few months, he basically slept, ate, or cried and for 2 of those occasions, I was free to ponder and post. Now, I rarely even turn on the computer let alone download pictures (I still take plenty though).

First Date

Counting just this picture, Bennet already has had more girlfriends than I had by the age of 17. Look at the little stud...hand on Hailey's thigh. He's pretending to watch Sesame Street but in his mind, he's saying "just a little higher, don't screw this up, does my breath stink, I wish our moms weren't here." Son, I can give you no more advice...it's obvious you already know more than me.

Army Dude

Does this count as crawling? Last week he was pushing his face across the floor so at least he's improved from that. He has this snake move down but has gotten his knees under himself a few times. Ben is a mere 169 days old. He's really accomplished a lot from his "2008 to-do list." Because of these most recent developments, I had to install cat doors, put covers on electrical sockets, and stop leaving my collection of ancient ninja fighting weapons lying around. The worst part is that the more mobile he becomes, the more he'll burn calories...goodbye thunder thighs, although I didn't know you long, I loved to squeeze your sweet soft skin.

Dad Found The Black And White Setting

Black and white photos just look more professional. I don't know what people did before digital cameras. I've taken over 2,000 pictures of Ben so far in just under 6 months. At 24 pictures per roll of film, that's 83 rolls times $13.00 per role which equals $1,079 dollars worth of pictures, most of which would be out of focus or shots of my finger in front of the lens. Ben is my muse and digital allows me to explore the possibilities without paying for mistakes. Sorry Kodak.

Thunder Thighs

This is the only time in one's life when having thighs like this is celebrated. I can't get my hand around those spicy sausages. They've got this firm yet marshmallowy feeling and yes, I do want to eat them. Bonus: all that loose flabby skin is perfect for making fart noises...a favorite activity of the Brof-men.

Where's My Updates?

I realize my posts have been pretty sparse. Ben's been doing so many new things lately that I haven't had time to write about them. Quick summary:
As of his 4 month check up, he's still 90% in height and weight. (17.6 pounds and 26.75 inches)
He can roll like a steam roller.
He's just starting to be able to sit up but still doing the face plant.
He'll have a full conversation with you as long as you pretend to know what he's saying.
Baby laughter cures depression, headaches, and exhaustion.
Baby screams cause depression, headaches, and exhaustion.
Ben has eaten peas, pears, banana, cereal, peaches, green beans and squash (his favorite)
Bennet loves making farting sounds with his mouth.
Even more, he loves doing it with food in his mouth thus spraying mommy and daddy with partially digested fruit.

This is really a fun time for me as a dad because Ben and I are at the same maturity level (i.e. farting sounds). He seems like a new baby every day. The one downside is that his diapers have taken on a whole new smell that I can only describe as "indescribable." (unless you've had kids, then you know that bouquet all too well).

Hallelujah

Today, Bennet completed his prerequisite for entering heaven by being baptized. He spent the ENTIRE ceremony talking and kicking his feet. He gave a "wazz-up" to every member of the congregation. In his defense, he was being extra manly because his Christening gown looked a little like a wedding dress for babies. In my defense, my grandmother made it and numerous grandchildren and great grandchildren have been baptized in it. I really have to thank Ben's new Godparents for coming to witness the baptism. My brother Dave and his fiancee Tria flew in from Berkeley, CA and Leigh and Chris drove down from Buffalo (I think that's in Canada or something). Leigh and Dave are now God-Husband and God-Wife. Start teaching my son how to be spiritual and stuff! The power of Christ compels you!

525,600 Minutes

One year ago today my life changed forever. I was in the office working (i.e. surfing the net for celebrity gossip) when all of the sudden Caryn started screaming "Oh my God" from the bedroom. It was the kind of scream she usually reserves for large insects or winning lottery tickets. Come to think of it, the mix of really scared and really excited is actually the perfect reaction to seeing a pink "+" show up on a stick you just peed on. Now, I didn't know she had taken a pregnancy test. My reaction to the scream was immediate. As soon as I finished reading the article on Jessica Alba's new bikini, I ran top speed down the hall to see what the commotion was. Caryn couldn't speak but she was holding the aforementioned stick. Using my powers of deduction, I realized Caryn was probably screaming because we were out of pregnancy tests. I immediately apologized because in the name of science, I had used a few to test my own pee, a glass of lemonade, and the spoiled milk in the fridge. (The juice and I were negative but the bad milk was inconclusive). Finally, Caryn said "I think I'm pregnant!" The next hour is a blur but there was a lot of "Oh my God", "This is crazy", "I love you", and "I have super sperm!" It's been a whirlwind 365 days but one hell of a ride. Happy anniversary Fee!

Do You Like See-Food?

Ben's started eating cereal; that lovely gray-brown mix of oatmeal and formula. We put a little on a spoon and as we moved it towards his mouth, he just opened right up. It's like he's been eating for years. I feel like any day now he's going to look up at me and say, "Dad, can we go get a burrito?"