Terrible Twos at 19 Months

If you look close enough you might be able to see the start of devil horns sprouting from Bennet's head...
Yesterday may have been the start of the terrible twos in the Bronfenbrenner household. Up at 4:30am and by 7:30am Ben had already climbed the baby gate in his doorway, put a small hole in the wall of our foyer, screamed for a total of almost an hour and a half (although maybe not consecutively), pulled the lamp and alarm clock down from his dresser, cut his nose, and did his best imitation of a caged animal. Needless to say by the time 8 am rolled around, Ben was exhausted and needed a serious nap.

Tornado Sighting

When we left for the beach last week, our living room was picked up, vacuumed, and spotless. Within 15 minutes of arriving home (and this is not an exaggeration) it looked like this. Notice the couch cushions on the floor...that's a brand new discovery...one that I'm sure will not be forgotten soon.

4:51

Little bugger woke up at 4:51am this morning. The rule in our house is no matter what time Ben wakes up, he's in his crib until 6:00. The problem with this rule (which I am a fan of) is that from 4:51 until 6:01 I am lying in bed unable to sleep because every 30 seconds, he either screams dada, mama, kitty, train, or just waaaaaa! So now it's only 8:45am and both Bennet and I are ready for a nap. Our whole Sunday routine is thrown off, I'm cranky, and I'm trying not to take it out on Ben. It's not his fault he's a raging crank-o-saurus. So who to blame then...hmmm, let's just go with...oh I don't know...Elmo

18 Months Old!

We made it to a year and a half with only 1 scar! Bennet weighs 28.4 pounds and loves anything having to do with trains. My dad took him to the trainyard and the conductor blew the whistle especially for Ben. He was shaking from the overdose of excitement...even peed a little bit. I also found he loves videos of trains emerging from tunnels; an actual purpose for youtube other than dramatic chipmunks. Plus, the not-so-subtle sexual connotations of trains and tunnels never gets old (giggle giggle).
With his new "big boy" status comes certain problems as well. He is in the process of getting his molars. The inevitable crankiness that comes with 4 huge teeth tearing apart your gums in 4 different places has caused some frustration (both on his part and mine...). Whoever invented baby motrin, thank you for making it taste good. He licks his lips when he sees the dropper...aka "baby heroin", the "red stuff", or simply "Mo". I caught him trying to sell some to the 6 month old down the street, saying something about taking the edge off. We had a talk about the "slippery slope" of mild pain killers and he's now in a 13 step program....ahhh they grow up so fast.

Happy Father's Day

I love these 3 pictures. My only problem with them is that Caryn took all 3. I'm a little jealous. It's like the movie "American Psycho" when Patrick Bateman sees his colleagues "superior" business card and it fills him with an uncontrollable murderous rage...btw, has anyone seen Caryn? What was I talking about...yes, Father's Day. Not only are these 3 great pics, they capture my 3 favorite moods of Ben. The top is his normal Bennet face. The middle is "playful Ben". The bottom shot is the "attention grabber" pose.
Aside from being jealous of my wife's photography skills, today was also Father's Day, the guilty afterthought of Mother's Day. Thankfully, Ben's too little to make me some gross "breakfast in bed" like pretzel pancakes or cinnamon and basil scrambled eggs...those will come later. His first present to me was sleeping in until 7:15am. I was VERY grateful. My second present was a huge poop that smelled like...well...poopy scented blueberries...or blueberry scented poo. He did say thank you when I was changing him so all was forgiven. Finally, my third present came when Ben was taking a bath tonight. He's a little on "husky" side of toddlers and Caryn remarked that when slouched over, Ben had little boobies. He looked up at us and clear as day repeated "boobies." We laughed uncontrollably which in turn caused him to repeat his new word over and over which led to more laughing...it's a self-perpetuating circle. The day ended with a kiss and hug good-night. Every time he does that it makes me feel like a good dad. And that's what Father's Day is about. One simple reminder from your kid that he likes you.

How To Speak Bennet

buh-bows - bubbles
kayyyy - ok
bah - ball
cah - car (ball and car were his first 2 clear words)
tea - train (loves trains more than anything)
da chu - thank you
m_0 - Elmo (at least it's not Barney)
more - more (he's pretty clear on that one)
titty - kitty (makes me laugh every time)
ha - hot (like the oven)
dow - down (says this for either put me down or pick me up)
puh - help
ish - fish
dis - antidisestablishmentarianism (not sure how he learned that one)

He gets more and more fun every day. We wrestle, play hide and seek, and spin in circles. This is officially my favorite phase so far. Although every "phase" has been my favorite so don't put too much stock in my claim.

Mr. Cool

This was fresh water straight out of the hose. It was freezing cold but didn't seem to faze Bennet at all. I can't wait to see him in a pool this summer.

Pic Update

Bennet has 9 teeth but we're still waiting for his baby hands to grow in.
To answer your question, yes, he is the cutest thing you've ever seen.

My Little Man

Ben had a great Sunday. He had strawberries at breakfast (red). His banana at snacktime was yellow. For lunch, he ate squash, clementine, and grilled cheese sandwich (all orange). For dinner, he ate scrambled eggs with spinach (yellow and green) followed by blueberries and a little purplish yogurt. He totally ROY G BIV'd his food today. Take a look at that stomach. Tell me we don't have a well rounded eater.
As a bonus, for the first time he stabbed some egg with a fork and got it in his mouth. We were very proud. He's growing up so fast...

Coming to a Theater Near You....

Ben crawled through three miles of shit and piss and came out clean as a whistle...Get busy living or get busy dying.

Ahhhhhhhh

Quiz time: What is Ben doing in this picture?
1.) Reenacting the escape scene from Shawshank Redemption
2.) He's meeting the 2 remaining members of the rap group Run DMC and is in mid bow yelling "I'm not worthy."
3.) Discovering the innocent pleasure of standing under a sprinkler in 90 degree heat.

Bubble Boy

That's Levitation Homes!

In this picture I am thinking, "I love being a Dad." Ben is thinking, "Please catch me!!"

At The Phoenix Zoo

We took Bennet to Phoenix for my cousins wedding and he was great. No freak outs on the plane, charming in front of family, and a trip to the zoo was fun for all. Every time he saw a new animal, he let out a slow "woahhh" or "woooowww." He saved his best reaction for the wedding however. As one of the bridesmaids began to walk down the aisle, he looked at her and yelled wowwww to the delight of everyone in the room. I think he should have saved it for the bride but Ben said "she's already taken, the bridesmaids are where the action is." Damn he's smooth.

Parenting Vs. Taking Care Of...

We knew it would happen. Our little prince is starting to get opinions, demands, and desires. That cute little pointing trick he used to do? Now it's a fast point followed with a loud "arghhh" sound (which is cool if he were a pirate, not cool since he isn't). If he doesn't get whatever it is he thinks he needs, it quickly turns into a louder arghh and possibly fake tears. This had made me realize that up until now, we were simply "taking care" of Bennet. Now, it's starting to be true "Parenting." Do you respond to his grunts and yells? Every time I do, it's positive reinforcement to do it again next time. His tamtrums are harder to ignore because rather than lie on the floor and scream, he gets up, walks over to my legs, and holds on while screaming bloody murder. I can't move, can't pick him up (don't want to reinforce the tantrum), and can't spend the next 10 minutes standing still waiting for him to stop. I end up walking in circles so he can't zero in on my pant leg and grab hold. I keep trying to reinforce the good behavior and ignore the bad but it's really hard! I thought "parenting" would be easy...

The Joy Of Little Boys

In this pic, you can cleary see the nicely healed cut on Bennet's left eyebrow. First real injury came and went. The black eye? That's from this weekend. Ben tried skydiving off his chair and didn't leave time for his chute to open (a common rookie mistake). His face hit the other chair cutting his upper lip, making his nose bleed, and evidently causing a nice black eye. The bruise on his forehead above his right eye? He was playing behind the curtain over the back door and walked into the bookcase next to the door. He bounched off the bookcase, fell backward, and hit the back of his head on a stool. It's been a pretty fun week at our house.

Happy St. Patrick's Day

We Had An Accident

Day Care called me at 9:30 this morning and told me Bennet had a "little" accident. He had fallen and cut his eyebrow (stress level rising). I arrived at day care to find my naked son being held down by one woman while another woman was holding an ice pack against his eye. They took his clothes off so as not to get any more blood on them. The fact that Ben was so scared that he was feveriously scratching his bare stomach seemed less important that getting more blood on an already bloody shirt (urge to kill rising). As soon as he saw me, the crying got worse. I picked him up, he looked right at me, then immediately stopped crying and pointed to the toy shelf (urge to kill fading). The bleeding had basically stopped at this point. I was surprised by this until Bennet looked at me and said "I ain't got time to bleed." I heard someone then scream "get to the chopper" but realized I was now in a flashback to the movie Predator with Arnold Schwarzenhew87q (or however you spell it) and quickly rejoined the present situation.
It turns out he had fallen right into the hinge on the door causing his eyebrow to split open. When I asked, "shouldn't there be a cover over the hinge?" I was told that the other rooms had covers but the INFANT/TODDLER room didn't for some reason. I think my silence to that answer was enough for the staff to understand how utterly ridiculous that was.
I took Ben to the doctor, they took us right in, and within 20 minutes they had glued his eyebrow back together. He doesn't have a black eye yet so I didn't post a picture. With the glue on his eye, you can barely see where it was cut. I'm waiting for the real shiner to show up tomorrow.
I'm not mad at the day care. If they put these kids in a padded room with straight jackets they'd still find a way to get hurt. Babies get hurt, it's an important lesson on how to avoid getting hurt in the future. Babies are made to bounce back quickly. They forget it ever happened. It's all part of growing up. blah blah blah. As I reflect on the day, I have to say I'm actually quite proud of my little man. Those of you who know anything about my childhood will recall by the age of 6, I had had about 3-4 sets of stitches on my face, including my eyebrow. By the time I turned 20, I think it was 6 or 7 different "uh-oh's" totaling well over 20 stitches on various portions of my battered mug (what's up Mickey Rourke...amateur). Bennet passed his first test with flying colors...and no matter what anyone tells you, chicks dig scars. For his bravery and speedy recovery, I want to give Bennet a medal of honor...or at least a banana of bravery.

Baby We Were Born To Run

Today was the first warm day of 2009 so we took Bennet out into the world. Luckily our neighbor Hailey was also out enjoying the weather. They were so cute walking around together. Ben pointed out every car on the street to her and said "cah cah cah". Hailey told Ben all the animal sounds she knows. I, overcome by overwhelming adorableness, wet my pants twice.

Bennet In Action

Press play!!!!

Bennet's Ninja Pose

Here is Ben in the Preying Mantis position, one of the many martial arts attacks he has mastered. Actually, Ben has decided now that he is one, he should try to master walking. He can make it across the room. However, he's got his arms up (as shown) and a slightly crooked gait that makes him look like a drunk chimpanzee. To top it off, he's so proud of himself he's usually laughing. Every time I see him do it, it makes me proud. Watching his confidence grow is awesome. Watching his head bounce off tables, stairs, the floor, etc...not so awesome...

That's What Cake Tastes Like?!?

Check out this picture. There's one of two things happening. Either Ben is slowly transforming into the Hulk or he FINALLY realized how awesome cake is. Caryn was eating some leftover cake and Ben suddenly wanted to try it. She put a piece in his mouth and his eyes lit up like a heroin addict in a poppy field. I could barely hold onto him as I put him in his high chair. He proceeded to poke, smoosh, and eat his week old birthday cake. I guess he didn't want the big party after all, just wanted to celebrate alone with mom and dad. Happy birthday buddy.

One Year (and 3 days) Old!

Believe it or not, last Friday was Bennet's first birthday. (judging by his reaction above, can you imagine the drama when he turns 40?) I didn't get to posting until now for two reasons: 1) His actual due date was January 12th and I feel I'm still owed those 3 days of carelessness. 2) It was a crazy weekend filled with Elmo balloons, party hats, and shiny new toys.
I really can't grasp how quickly the year passed. Bennet has learned to roll over, crawl, walk, grow teeth, point, talk, laugh, play, and clap. He knows where his belly and nose are, can give a high five, and can sign "more" and "all done" with his hands while eating. The only thing I learned during the past year was not to invest with a guy whose last names rhymes with "made off." (how did no one see that coming?)
From the jubilant highs to the scariest lows, it's been a year I'll never forget. That first doctor visit when they said Ben was losing too much weight and I thought "My God, I'm going to kill this baby." Fast forward a month when he was in the 90th percentile for weight and I think "we can do this, he's going to be a great kid." Fast forward 8 months to Ben throwing a bowl of peas onto the floor and I think "that's it, I am purposely going to kill this kid." Somewhere between thoughts of pure love and infanticide lies the true meaning of parenthood. You learn what different cries mean. You have no problem sticking your nose up to his butt to check if he made a "deposit" (even more weird is you secretly enjoy the smell of pampers). You're excited to watch his personality grow but cringe as he gets more "opinions"...he knows tupperware on the table usually has cookies in it and if he sees said tupperware, no other morsel of food may enter his mouth until a complete inspection of the contents of said container are completed and tasted. We tried putting cooked carrots in a container on the counter. He looked at us like "you have to be kidding, do you think I'm a 4 month old?!?" Smarty pants...
In closing, leading up to this day I was trying to think of some profound way to talk about the first year and all I could come up with was poop jokes and picky eating. So, to all of you without kids, let me just say that parenthood is that best thing that has ever happened to me. To those of you with kids, all I have to say is "la la la la, la la la la, Elmo's world. Elmo loves his goldfish, and crayons too."

Bennet's First Christmas

This Gap box was his favorite present...

3 Headed Christmas Monster

This is just a nauseating sea of holiday flannel. Still not sure how Caryn talked me into this but it's definitely blackmail material for when Ben gets older. Actually, the thing that bothered me the most about the pajamas is that mine weren't footie pj's. Ben's toes were safely wrapped in a rubber soled, flannel bootie. I was exposed to the elements.

Fun With Strangers

Bennet, the stranger wants you to sit on his lap...
See the little white thing on his leg? It's a cheerio. He had a mouthful until I handed him to Santa. It was more like a silent scream but because he had his mouth wide open, each cheerio, one by one, dropped to the floor. Merry Christmas.

The Nebulizer

(lyrics sung to the tune of "Paralyzer" by Finger Eleven)
I'm the Nebulizer
I have to suck on this tube
Breathe in albuterol
While I'm sitting still.
'Cause my infection filled
All my lungs with goo
I have to breathe this gas
But get to watch TV to!

Two Steps

It's not just the name of a Dave Matthews Band song anymore, it's what Bennet just did half an hour ago!!! He is 11 months and 2 days old. He was leaning on me with one hand and eating a piece of string cheese with the other. He decided he needed both hands to shove the last bit of cheese in his mouth so he let go of me, stood upright for about 10 seconds, then just looked at Caryn and I and took 2 steps before sitting down on his butt. He didn't seem to understand why we were so excited but did manage to clap his hands and smile. Plus, since Caryn and I were both right there, it is an official "first walk." Coincidentally, the video camera wasn't charged and the regular camera didn't have a memory stick in it (the pic is from a few weeks ago). I can't wait for Ben to take 15 steps because that's the title of a Radiohead song (the greatest band ever). It's been a helluva year! Merry (early) Christmas.

Pensive Bennet

To the company who made this sweater, I want royalties when you use this picture in your ads.

Starting at Short Stop Today...

We have a circular coffee table in our TV room. Ben and I spent 10 minutes rolling a ball back and forth to each other yesterday. It was really amazing to see him think about grabbing the ball as it rolled towards him. (even more amazing is the fact that the table was cleared of the usual junk mail and other cluttery crap) Plus, the look on his face when he actually caught the ball was really cute (of course when I got up to get the camera, he felt the game was over and went back to trying to lick the cats tail). Anyway, you can imagine how proud I am now that my son has shown the smallest amount of athletic skill. I can hear the argument now..."Yes you have to go to baseball practice. No you can't take ballet lessons. Stop crying." :)