The Countdown Begins

We went to the doctor on Thursday for Caryn's weekly check-up. The doctor listened and poked and announced, "congratulations, you are full term." I already knew that but hearing the doctor tell us made me a little uneasy. Basically, labor can start at any time; while Caryn is sleeping, while enjoying a delicious Arby's sandwich, during 4th period math in front of 15 tenth graders. Who knows? It's the anticipation that's killing me. Every time Caryn calls me, my heart skips a beat. Women at this stage get "braxton hicks contractions" which are like warm up contractions for the real thing. Her stomach gets rock hard for about a minute. The great thing is that there doesn't seem to be any pain involved...yet. People have started guessing what day Fee will ride the slip and slide into our life. There's no pool of money but you'd always have the claim that you "knew" when he'd arrive. Just a reminder, the actual due date is January 12th. Happy New Year!

Lub Dub

I know what you're thinking. "Three posts in one day? Space it out!" Listen, it's freezing rain and snowing outside plus there's a lot of exciting stuff going on. I've had a really nice stethoscope for a few years without really knowing why. Now I know. We can hear Fee! It's faint, but Caryn and I both heard Fee's rapid heartbeat this morning without the use of the OB's fancy machine. (side note: the first time the doctor used one of his heartbeat machines on Caryn, he looked up and said "I think we lost this one." The moron meant that the batteries were dead but Caryn immediately translated it into "we lost the baby." Before her eyes got too watery, he realized his error and explained himself but, come on, what type of a**hole thing is that to say.) I digress. Anyway, hearing Fee's heartbeat in our own house without any doctors around was really cool.
With less than a month left, I am realizing more and more that this baby is coming. People keep asking me if I'm ready. How the hell do I know? I'm excited and nervous. I can't wait to meet the little guy and have him wrap his tiny fingers around my hand. I can't wait to just look at him while he's sleeping. There's so much I'm looking forward to. Am I ready? Of course not. You can't always be ready in life. Sometimes, you just have to dive him head first. In Fee's case, he's diving "out" head first...hopefully. There is a time and place for a cannonball. This would not be one of those times son.

Sassafrass

Check out sassy Caryn! (she is being escorted by Reese, the Duchess of Sass) Caryn is 36.5 weeks pregnant in this picture. Forget weeks, she looks good for 36.5 DAYS pregnant! If Sassland were a country, she'd be the president. Her primary export is Sass. When Caryn walks past, you become sassified. Caryn's tears have enough Sass to make Beyonce say, "that's a lot of sass." If Reese had this much sass, she would explode. Keep it sassy.

What's Up Martha Stewart

Check out the nursery! Admit it, you wish you could throw on a diaper, climb into the crib, and drift off into a bubble filled slumber. The wall looks so nice you hardly even notice the chair rail!

Except for one missing element, my vision for the nursery is complete. That element? A baby.

Fruit Of Labor

Today is December 12th and Fee is due on January 12th. Just like that, we are one month away from diaper bags and sleep deprivation. At this stage, Fee is a little larger than a cantaloupe and just as juicy. Unfortunately in a month, his "juice" transforms into stinky poo. Come to think of it, the same thing happens to a cantaloupe after a month. I guess the biggest difference is that Fee will never get served during brunch.
This also means I only have a month left to call him Fee. He will no longer be a Fetus but a living breathing poo-machine...and that machine needs a name. WE think we have it narrowed down to 2 front-runners and 4 more maybes. I think Caryn has actually decided on the name but hasn't told me. So, for now, WE'RE not sure. The illusion that I have a choice is what keeps me happy. Reality can really get you frustrated...much like a rotten cantaloupe.

Just Practicing

I am a multitasking machine! Here I am enjoying a beer, watching football, giving the cat attention, and taking care of the baby. For now, the baby is Edgar the stuffed rabbit. I put the stroller together while carrying baby Edgar as well. It was easy. Feeling confident I'd mastered fatherhood, I decided my experiment was complete. Plus, after assembling the stroller, I stood up and watched Edgar fall out of the Baby Bjorn and onto the sharp open pair of scissors on the floor. Hot water burn baby! Hot water burn baby!

A Simple Thanks

No jokes, sarcasm, or wit. I just really wanted to say over and over again how grateful Caryn and I are for everyones gifts to Fee. We've got an entire zoo of stuffed animals, car seat, stroller, playpen, high chair, and a wardrobe Paris Hilton would be jealous of (ok, 1 joke). I can't begin to thank everyone enough. We love you all, even the people who stumbled on this blog by accident (2). We're only 6 weeks away!!!

The Turkey is Done

Well, we made it through the 2007 Thanksgiving Belly Tour. In 3 and a half days we traveled to 6 different locations to "celebrate" Thanksgiving and see various family members and friends. It was very tiresome (more for Caryn) but it was really nice to see everybody.

I am thankful for many things this year. Caryn has had a healthy pregnancy and Fee is doing everything he is supposed to be doing (pushing on her bladder, kicking her ribs, etc...). Just this week, we noticed the striking resemblance of Caryn's bellybutton and a turkey breast (huh huh...breast). It has gone from a DEEP innie to a cute outtie in the last week or so. Another similarity is that both turkey and Caryn's growing belly seem to make her tired.

Unlike the popped button on a cooked turkey however, Fee is not ready to be taken out of the oven. He's still got 6 weeks left to reach full term. That sounds really soon, we'd better start setting the table and pouring the wine...

1/2 Chinese 1/2 Mutt

Caryn has pure Chinese blood and I have pure German/Irish/Russian/Golden Retriever blood (actually, I'm pretty much everything EXCEPT Chinese). Fee will have 3 sets of Grandparents, 2 of which are mixed race. (3 for 3 if you count the fact that my dad is an engineer and my mom is not :) I don't necessarily care what race he thinks he is but I do wonder if he will.
Being a white male, I'll admit race is not something that's gotten thrown in my face. However, Caryn has some examples. One of my favorites being the all too frequently asked question from a guy, usually in a bar-type situation: "What type of Asian are you?" A close second is "Where are you from?" To someone like me, the question means where do you live. To Caryn, it's the "polite" way of asking "What type of Asian are you?" Her response to the question is always "I'm from New York, why?" Most of the time, people don't realize how dumb their question was until this point. The sight of them explaining that they didn't mean where Caryn grew up, they meant "What type of Asian are you" usually makes them realize how stupid their question was in the first place.
Here's my point. My son will have predominantly Chinese features. However, there will be part of me in those features (assuming I'm the dad...hehe). I'm anticipating the first time someone (probably a young substitute teacher) reads Bronfenbrenner off an attendance sheet and sees a handsome Asian looking boy raising his hand. She'll ask what type of Asian he is, and he can say "Bronfenbrenner is German you twit." Deine Mutter hat einer Schnurrbart!

Hot Momma

Caryn is now 30 weeks pregnant which means Fee has less than 10 weeks before he emerges as a beautiful butterfly, locust, or baby. Again, the sonogram pics aren't completely clear. We've gotten a lot of requests for more pics of Caryn. I'd like to remind all of you that this is babybrof.blogspot.com, not babybrof and mom! I had originally planned to post pics of Caryn at "preggocaryn.blogspot.com" to illustrate her 9 month journey into motherhood. Unfortunately, that domain name is already owned by an S&M Porn site. Who knew? In the end, I've decided to combine the 2 blogs into one so here she is. Doesn't she look great!

Behind The Scenes

Here's Reese helping me write quirky messages for the Blog. Most of her ideas involve tuna fish or fun activities with a laser pointer. Come to think of it, she doesn't help at all. In fact, anything I do that doesn't involve 100% of my attention towards her makes her mad; hence trying to sit on the laptop. I'm hoping she doesn't have a problem once Fee comes home. One false swipe at my son and that cat will be a no home walking free mother f***er. This is MY HOUSE!

For you truly dedicated blog followers, you can tell I'm not actually updating the Blog in this picture. How can you tell? I'm wearing pants....(don't like to constrict my creativity)

Fee's First Halloween

We went out to Pittsburgh last weekend for Matt and Steph's 2nd Annual (sort of) Halloween Party. They're the "dead" doctors in the blue scrubs. Thanks for a great evening filled with IC Light and pepperoni rolls.

You can see from Caryn's picture that all systems are ready for baby Fee's "nutritional" needs. Steve, Orgasm Donor, Mascaro is getting a taste of his own medicine. Erin and Steve had matching costumes, so did Matt and Steph. Caryn was a wet t-shirt winner and I was Napoleon Dynamite. The unifying theme...both costumes are flippin' sweet.

Baby Bison

Fee made his first trip to Bucknell this weekend. It was Homecoming and we hadn't been there in a few years. We saw the comedian Jim Gaffigan (hot pockets?) and got 3 FREE beer tickets. It was cool, as long as we had that ugly orange wristband we could walk anywhere on campus with an open beer. I could walk right up to public safety and chug a beer in his face...he'd just have to stand there groovin' on it. We saw Lambda Chi, my old fraternity. It still has the same stale beer/piss smell that conjures up memories of parties past. Fee was very happy walking around campus all day, he's already thinking about matriculating. NASA is currently calculating how much it will cost to send him there.

What's Up Chair Rail?

A woman sacrifices a lot when she becomes pregnant: lost sleep, changes in body, sore muscles, people telling her she "looks huge". What then should the man sacrifice...besides having to put up with the woman (don't worry, I've already gotten smacked for that comment). Part of my sacrifice became putting up a chair rail in the nursery. Painting alone was not good enough for my little man. Besides. Caryn wanted it. Anyway, how hard could it be? Well, take a look for yourself. Have you ever cut a perfect 22.5 degree angle? I did...twice. It turned out much better than I ever thought it would. Now we're going to cover it all up with a crib, dresser, and changing table but I'll know it's there, protecting the wall, in case the furniture ever goes away and someone accidentally bumps their chair into the wall. I'll be there to say, "this wall was protected by me, you're welcome." I haven't decided what my theme music will be but in the far chance this exact situation occurs, I'll probably hum something provocative.

Super Dave

This has nothing to do with Baby Brof. However, I just wanted to give a fine "Hazzaaah" to my brother, super Dave (aka brof-en-brother). He ran the Steamtown Marathon a week ago and finished fourth. His time was just over 2 hours 25 minutes. For those of you not familiar with marathons (aka not insane), that's well under 6 minutes per mile for 26.2 miles. I can't run one mile under 6 minutes....hence the name super Dave. Anyway, this is a pic of him about 10 minutes after he finished. I call this photograph "Caged Passion." The fence Dave is leaning on symbolizes how his passion for running has imprisoned him while at the same time has set him free. People in the background seem not to notice the heroic figure leaning on the gate. Could this infer the idea that Dave is still waiting for validation from his peers for excellence? The snapple water in his hand...is he willing to sell out to become a larger than life runner? There are many questions to this riddle of mystery known as "Caged Passion." Take some time to reflect on your own personal marathons, whatever they may be....

We're very proud of you, Dave.

We Have Movement

Evidently, Fee loves cheerios. Not only was he kicking the heck out of Caryn, but I actually saw her stomach move for the first time!!! It's only a matter of time until the incubation period is over and this thing bursts out of her stomach, starts spitting acidic saliva and eating our faces. My son will either be a soccer player, karate champion, or an alien. Make me proud son; make me proud.

The Nursery

Here's the before shot of baby's room. I was going to do a step by step series but I think the effect will be better if you go from this to the finished product. The blue lining is actually tape because I was about to paint the room. The doctor doesn't want Caryn to smell a lot of paint fumes so painting became my solo mission. I guess Caryn has to carry Fee for 9 months so I shouldn't complain. Ladies, it's an excuse that works for anything. "Why do I have to do the dishes?" "Because I have to carry this bowling ball for 9 months." "Why can't you run to the store for eggs?" "Because my feet are so swollen from carrying YOUR son that it hurts to walk." We men have no comeback to this so it's better off just to do it. Besides, not that I want to admit it, she's right.

Fee's Getting Larger

Here's Caryn at around 23 weeks (just over 5 months for you "non-breeders"). Caryn went from a flat stomach to this in about 2 weeks. He is a good kicker and swimmer...likes to speed-bag her bladder. Both Caryn and fee are happy, healthy, and beautiful. I however, have gained 30 pounds, started losing my hair, and gotten a job at the nuclear power plant. No, wait, that was Homer Simpson.

Baby Formerly Known as Fee

Caryn and I had a girl's name firmly picked out so it was no surprise when the doctor said we were having a boy. Now comes the hard part. My suggestions of Max Power, Optimus Prime, and Dirk Diggler have already been vetoed. We need a name that sounds good with Bronfenbrenner. I realize that's impossible but I'm limiting the first name to less than 3 syllables; preferably 2. Any suggestions are welcomed as long as you don't get insulted if we don't use it (or make fun of it).

Baby BOY Brof

It's official, we are having a boy!!! You get a certain sense of accomplishment when you find out you've gotten a woman pregnant; but to find out it's a boy makes every Y chromosome in my body stand up and grunt. We saw the four chambers of his heart, the two halves of his brain, numerous other organs, and, of course, his "manhood"...by the way, all parts are developing nicely. The doctor says he has the schwanz of an 8 month old fetus already! We don't have a name yet so stay tuned.

Gonna be a soccer player

Very excited, Saturday night was the first time I (Eric) felt little Fee (fetus) move. There was a hard lump under Caryn's belly button that moved away then quickly pushed up against my hand. Fee was either trying to shake my hand or kick me away and yell "stop poking me, I'm trying to sleep!" It was truly amazing. We also found that if Caryn drinks lemonade, Fee does somersaults...fun party trick.

STAY TUNED! Coming Friday....Is Fee an "innie" or an "outtie?"...and I'm not talking about the belly button.

Santorini

This is the view from Oia, Santorini. People actually live here. According to our book, Baby Fee can sense bright light and will move away from it. Given the weather we had all week, I think the poor little one spent the trip hidden somewhere behind Caryn's colon and pancreas.

Baby Brof (aka Fee, short for Fetus) has gone international

Here's little Fee and Caryn in Taormina, Sicily. I don't know the man next to her but he split after he heard Caryn was with child. He may or may not be involved with the mob which may or may not actually exist.

12 Weeks 5 Days

Baby Brof is getting bigger. In one of these, you can see its face and brain. Do you think it looks more like me or Caryn? I think it looks like Skeletor. It might be wearing a mask, we won't know for sure until birth.

The pic with the baby face down is of its healthy spine. Our baby has the correct number of vertebrae...unlike Uncle Dave...freak. Mom and baby are both very healthy. Stay tuned. Coming August 24th, we find out the sex...will you?

Well that didn't take long, here's our baby. Actually, this is Sarah Collier, we were just practicing with a friend's baby...only dropped her twice. For you future parents, it's better to practice on someone else's kids :)

This man is going to be a father...

First picture

Here's Baby at 10 weeks and 4 days...approximately. It's waving on the second shot...say hello, don't be rude.

We're pregnant!!!

The lady of the lake, her hand clad with the purist shimmering EPT test, held aloft the pee stick from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Eric, was to be a father. Some say strange women lying in ponds distributing EPT tests is no basis for a system of determining preganancy. I thought we were an autonomous collective. Regardless, Caryn and I are having a baby...and that baby will be awesome.

***If you haven't seen Monty Python's Holy Grail, do not attempt to make sense of the previous paragraph. Just know that Caryn's preggo.